Scarlett Johansson in a bikini.

Ladies, 

I know many of you will recognize this (unfortunately). If not through the role of the voyeur then probably through the role of the object. It's womanhood's Mordor: 
How we give eachother the evil eye.

We see headlines promising us Scarlett Johansson in a bikini. We don't click. (Unless it is to make ourselves feel bad or worse than we already do.) We see headlines promising us Scarlett Johansson in a bikini. But this time - with cellulite. Fanfare goes off in our heads, and there's a 99% chance we click. For oh, how we thrive in the proof of her imperfection. How we instantly feel better knowing she's not that superiour to us after all. For a beautiful woman is a threat. The biggest there is. At least we act like it. And in order to make her less of a threat, we desperately look for proof of imperfection or try to make her feel bad about herself. This happens when we pass eachother on the street or stand next to eachother in front of the bathroom mirror at a bar. It's a battlefield. We don't see eachother as friends, but as enemies. 

What is it that is so harmful, so personal to us, about another woman's exterior? Why do we have to look for flaws in others in order to feel better about ourselves? It's brutal; we're basically wishing ill on others in order to gain confidence in ourselves. 
Why? Is it for the men? Because if it is, then we really need to take a hard look in the mirror. And instead of comparing our bodyparts with one another's, start realising how demeaning we're being to ourselves and to eachother. How little value we put into ourselves. We're basically just here to be the prettiest one. The one who gets the man.
Let's seriously think about that for a moment. 



Yours truly, 

C

Follow @carolinagruner on Instagram

Walking around in dirty laundry.

What defines us? What defines who we are?
Is it what we do? How we act? How we interact? How we talk to or about ourselves? How we talk to or about others? The choises we make - or don't make? What we show of ourselves? What others make us up to be? Our possessions or lack thereof? The smile we wear?

Or is it what we keep hidden that has the power? Our dirty laundry.
Our insecurities. Our shame. Our fear. Our secrets.
Is it the things we hope noone will find out about us, that prevent us from living the way we'd truly like? Is it the shame of past failure and/or mistakes that keeps us from trying again? Is it the fear of being exposed for what and who we truly are that makes us build walls around us?

What is it that defines us?
These insecurities? These fears? These secrets?
Or the fact that we let these things define us?


Love,

C

Follow @carolinagruner on Instagram

Bad, bad boy.

It's not our job to understand the reason for other people's (bad) behaviour. To dig for the source of (in our opinion) all evil. Because we'll dig ourself into crazy if we start looking for the root of all action. As it is none of our business, nothing we need to understand. The only thing we need to understand is that behind every action there is a reason. A valid reason. For that particular person. That noone intentionally means to do harm. And if someone does, there is a reason for such. (Can you imagine the hurt one must feel if one feels the need to purposely spread hurt over others?) 

    Compassion, acceptance and understanding. That's what will make our own world more enjoyable. Very enjoyable, in fact. But still, some feel the need to hold on to the "right" to judge other people's behaviour - in the name of justice. Their perception of justice. Stubbornly holding on to the right to not let wrongdoers off the hook so easily. For bad behaviour is something one needs to be punished for... But it's not our right to act as a court of law on other people's behaviour. It's not our job nor right to parent others into our own ways. Into what feels comfortable for us. Because if we go on that path there will always be someone who thinks they're more right than us. Someone who'll put us in the defendant stand. Someone who'll parent us. Our own personal judge. Always. 

    So to practice compassion and acceptance for difference is what ultimately will make us feel free. Not building prisons for others.

Love,

C

Follow @carolinagruner on Instagram