Got dumped?

I have. Several times, I might ad. (Well, I am already almost 34.) And in all of these dumpings - with a drama scale that has varied from everything between 'none' to 'The Bold And The Beautiful ain't got nothing on me' kind of drama - there has been one common factor to them all: all have left without an explanation. Now we all know how frustrating that can be: silence. Not getting closure. The infamous closure... It meddles with our brains and eats at our self confidence, until we finally drink one too many at some random girls/guys night out and demand for answers. Because we seem to think we cannot move on without these answers. But whyyy do we need this closure?? Closure won't change the fact that what happened happened. Closure certainly won't change the way it happened. Closure won't make the hurt or sorrow disappear. And closure won't fix our bruised ego. Or will it? I think that is exactly what we look for in closure: proof of worth. Because getting dumped hurts our ego. So we want to hear that we did mean something. That we do mean something. That there's nothing wrong with the way we are. But looking for that proof of self worth in others is not the way to go, as it can - and should - only be found in ourselves. So the less of an explanation we need and the less we demand - the better we will feel. I promise. Because the way someone else chooses to be has nothing to do with us. The way others treat us tells us nothing about ourselves, but everything about them. And vice versa. We all do the best we can. And if we don't - well, then that's our problem, isn't it? So since closure won't change fact, then why bother meddling? Why not focus upon what is important instead: ourselves. Us moving on. And what if the reason might be as big of an enigma for the other as it is to us. May even be the reason why they had to leave without an explanation...


Big love,

C

Follow @carolinagruner on Instagram