Why I am not lucky.

Many times I have been told that I am so lucky. That good things just seem to happen to me. I know all of this is meant only well, but I would like to tell my side of the story. Because it isn't really how it might seem to be. And I do feel it is unfair to all that I do do, when someone puts all that happens to me up to "luck". I do understand though, that unless one is on this side of the story, one wouldn't know how much work it takes to help bring all this luck into one's life. To help make all of those good things happen. To help make. Because, as in everything in life, it takes work. And jumping into a dream head first, in order to make that dream a reality, takes a lot of work. Luckily - I love work. And I know, that all these good things, the things that make me seem so lucky, happen to me because I work for them, and - here's the most important one: I work on myself, in order to make them happen.

When I set out on a life dedicated to following and realising my dreams, I never ever could have imagined the amount of work that needed to be done on myself. Because the amount of obstacles one puts out there for oneself is mind-blowing. Seriously, we do not believe in ourselves enough. And how little we believe becomes extraordinarily apparent when the belief is put to the test. Because it's actually quite easy to work hard physically. But to create a world of one's own, to continue believing in one's vision, to dare dream and believe in that dream, to even understand we have a dream!, is not easy. It's like battling both worlds of the story of Don Quixote. One side of oneself as Quixote himself, believing so hard in the vision, and the other the reader telling you what you're seeing is but a mirage. This is where the work really needs to be done: in continuing to believe in that the dream is reality. Because if we don't, then it never will be. 

So when you see someone who is living their dream, know that they are not lucky. They are working for it - hard.

Love love,

Carolina

It's all your fault that I'm not happy.

We are so reluctant to face and accept the fact that we are responsible for what we do, how we think, what we feel, what we go through, what happens in and with our lives. We're so comfortable with everything always being someone or something else's fault.

Global warming, pollution, humans, children and animals being mistreated - we all have our part in it, don't we. But it's so convenient to blame others. 

We're stuck at a job that's eating us up from the inside, because of living costs and/or a loan or two. But we choose and chose that loan, we choose how we live, what we consider to need in life, don't we. But it's so convenient to blame the loan, to use all sorts of reasons why we need that loan, that house, that car, those clothes, that boat. 

We're stuck in a relationship or relationships that make us unhappy, that hold us back in life. But we're choosing to stay, aren't we. The convenience, the finances, the traditions, the mutual friends, the children - they're all just excuses, and it's too easy and just too convenient to have them as the reason we're not making a change, isn't it.

Our bad mood, all that goes wrong in a day, a week, a month, our lives... Is all the fault of the weather, our a-hole boss, our job, the news, the bus driver, our friend, our ex, our mother, our partner. Because we are not responsible for what we think or feel or do - but, again: they are. They are responsible for our life choices, for what happens to us, how we react and how we feel. Or if not, at least they should be the ones to fix it. To fix our lives. To fix how we feel. What our experience is. Or at least stop making it so damn impossible for us to be happy.

But why are we and why do we get unhappy? It's exactly because of this: we're looking for the reason, for the responsibility, for the blame - in everything and anything else but in ourselves. 

It's all your fault, that I'm not happy.

Love love,

Carolina

To heal the world.

Thinking a lot about what I stand for. What my values are. What I'm here for. My purpose. Asking myself what it is I really want. Who and what I really want to be.

Am I here to consume? Am I here to promote consuming? Am I here to be and to do like everybody else? Am I here to exploit the world? Am I here to do and to get as much as possible? Or am I here to take care of the world. Am I here to share and to help the ones I can help. Am I here to stand for causes instead of consumption. To stand for peace instead of stress. To stand for values instead of goods. What do I want to teach my daughter? What do I want her to grow up knowing? What do I want her to value? To stand for? To feel about herself?

I want to only want what I actually really want. What speaks the same language as my values. I don't want to want just because everybody else wants, or because trends and/or companies tell me that I should want. I don't want to be a certain way or do certain things because everybody else is. I don't want to want because I get it for free. Or tell you you should want it because I got it for free. I won't take anything for free. Because my consumption I want to keep for my own needs. I'm not here to tell you what you should want. Or how you should be.

I think a lot. I think a lot of how my choices reflect on others. I take my role here quite seriously. I want to stand for what's important in this life. To take care of each other. To take care of our planet. To reconnect with our earth and ourselves. To relearn to be okay with silence. With peace. With not performing all the time.

I want my daughter to know this. That I did all I could to become the best human being I could imagine. That I did all I could to give back. That I lived according to my values. True to my Self. That I found my purpose in life. That I dared stand behind it. And that there is no shame in wanting to heal the world.

Love,

Carolina