June 18, 2016

To brake up with quantity.

So often we live with people in our lives that do not make us truly happy. People in whose company we don't really feel so good (at least not if we are completely honest with ourselves). But so often in our lives we stay there anyway, in this company/relationship, with these people - just for the habit of doing so, of always having done so. Or simply to avoid otherwise being alone... We settle and we complain, but then we never do anything about it.

I'm a loner in the sence that I truly love being by myself. I find my own company so good, that I've often felt that I could (and probably would) be happier alone than in the company I have chosen to be. But yet, I've been comfortable enough as to avoid the question of doing anything about it. Comfortable and scared of making a change. But one year ago life once again placed itself in front of me in such a way that I had no option but to wake up to this reality. I had to stop ignoring the facts that I wasn't completely happy and hiding behind good enough. Because good enough simply isn't good enough when one wants to make the absolute best of one's life. And there, I am hooked. I've made the descision and a commitment to live my dreams. And in my dreams, only the best is good enough. Why shouldn't it be?

When jumping into the unknown. When deciding that you are going follow your dreams, to for example make it in a field persieved as impossible - that demands alot from you. It's a descision that will affect every area of your life. Already the challenge of being so broke as to not have the means to buy a canvas to paint on (when a painted canvas is your livelyhood), is demanding enough. But the true challenge is hanging in there mentally and emotionally. To through these times continue to believe in oneself. So if you at this point do not have people around you who know how to support - then you'll make it all the harder on yourself. You might even lose your faith and give up. That's why, when jumping in, when following a dream, it is vital to become open to the effects relationships have on you. To dare see how they affect your heart, your soul, your emotions, your mind, your personal growth and most of all your belief in yourself.

They say it's through crisis you know who your true friends are. But I think supporting someone in a time of crisis is easy, as most people find comfort and relief in knowing that someone is worse off than they are. But to support and root for someone living and following their dream, someone who feels alive and absolutely loves their life no matter what bank account says - that's when you will recognize the true ones.

One will never know the price one is paying for settling - be it in job, home, partner(s), friends, acquaintances, company - until one dares to be honest with oneself and take the consequences of that reality. It takes making to respect oneself a priority. The priority. To dare face the challenges change always brings. The objections and the disappoitments of other people, the living through times alone. But I've been through enough. I've already seen so much as to know that what lies ahead will only and always be better. So go brake up with quantity. Devote yourself to quality. And I promise, your life will never feel richer.



June 11, 2016

Bitching about the weather: My complaint.

Finland has just experienced the warmest May in 55 years. Then, "out of nowhere", comes a couple of days of rain, the temperature drops down to colder than record warm - and what happens? People immediately start to complain. To point out how terrible the Finnish summer can be. Makes me thunderstruck. So thunderstruck, that in an effort of trying to understand this behaviour, I had to google why people complain.
Here's a couple of quotes I found:

 Why do people complain?
"First of all, most people don't realize how often they complain because it has become a habit and, like all habits, it tends to be so familiar that it becomes invisible. Secondly, most people feel that it's a good conversation starter because it's easier to find common ground by complaining."

Why do people complain about the weather?
"I think what you have to realize is that talking about the weather isn't really about the weather, it's about talking."

I think so too. Because what can one possibly gain from complaining about the weather? Does one think it will make the weather change? Will the complaining make one's day nicer? (No.) Or is it simply because one has nothing else to say? Seems so, as everyone knows the weather is not up to us humans to regulate. And the only thing one does by complaining is deciding not to enjoy what is.
And why do we feel the need to unite through negativity? Why is it so difficult to focus on and talk about the good things? On all that a cold, rainy, windy summer day enables us to do? I made a list, if you yourself can't find anything good about these kinds of days:

1. Sleep in longer (with a good conscience)
2. Stay in bed all day
3. Read a book (all day)
4. Make hot chocolate
5. Bake
6. Wear that perfect Iceland outfit, starring a warm, winter sweater with shorts and rubber boots
7. Take a long, romantic walk in the rain while waiting for the sauna to warm up
8. Go to the movies in the middle of the day
9. Play board games
10. Clean out your wardrobe
11. Go shopping
12. Write down your thoughts
13. Do something creative
14. Build a fortress
15. I could go on forever

Nature needs balance. And balance for nature means rain mixed with sun. Balance for nature means different temperatures. What nature is, is a variety of different weather. So seriously. Try to fill your life with other things than complaining about the weather. After all, we are so lucky as to live in a society where we have this thing called clothes. Clothes mean we can adapt to different weather - easily. So if you're cold - get dressed. A perfect summer is completely up to you. To what you decide to make of it. What options you see and find. Rain or shine. Just as life itself. And if that tan is everything, then Finland is the wrong country to be in. And there is always the option of moving to a warmer climate. A climate where one thinks one will have no reason to complain. But one thing I am sure of, and that is that if we were to have a two-month-long hot spell - no rain, no clouds, nature drying out and dying - one would find this a reason to complain. So stop complaining, and try to enjoy the different variety of life the change of weather is offering you.



June 05, 2016

She takes selfies.

I do. And I am awfully happy about that. I used to hate my body. I used to hate almost everything about the way I looked. All I saw in pictures were flaws. Everywhere and in everything. All the failed pictures matching the perception I had of myself. Ugly. Not good enough. And then I started taking selfies. The beginning was shy and every picture made my heart beat a little bit faster. For only one successful frame the pictures taken were hundreds. Most of which completely awkward. As awkward as I felt. But all that was needed was that one. That one good one. One picture that could prove my outlook wrong. And all it took to find that one was to learn my angles. To recognise the right light. And the good ones started increasing and the process becoming more fun. I began to understand my body. Like strangers we met in the process of getting to know one another. Bit by bit, angle by angle - and soon I had fallen in love. (It's funny, as writing that triggers shame in me. Somewhere I fear that you who are reading this will find me full of myself. For loving myself...) Anyways, I had woken up to the fact that beauty is but in the angle one looks from. I had learnt to like myself - through looking at myself. I was now looking to find beauty - and had therefore found it. So without even realising, I had changed my whole outlook on life. And I was finally loving myself.

So thank god for selfies. And thank god I chose to not let the opinions or comments of others, the thoughts about selfies equalling narcissism or extreme vanity, shut me down. We are curious beings. That is our nature. We are meant to know ourselves. And we are meant to love ourselves. So for you who frown upon others taking selfies, I recommend you this: Try it. Give yourself a shot at finding yourself beautiful. Play with yourself, find your angle. Feel the freedom a good picture gives you. You do not need to post, simply keep it for yourself, as your own little secret. And I hope that through doing this, you will realise that a good selfie can be so much more than just vanity or a picture. It can be you finally looking at yourself through the eyes of your admirer. It can be a healthy romance between you and yourself. The beginning of a beautiful and happy relationship. For life.

Love (thyself),