February 26, 2016

So flawed. So perfect.

What is 'perfect'? Something without flaws? What are flaws? Something that doesn't match our expectations? And then what are expectations? The truth, or our wish of what should be truth? No harm in wishing. None at all. But when things don't go the way we hoped they would, there is always a reason for that.

I have two tattoos. A star and the word 'magic'. Neither of them are "perfect". Inked to my skin forever - and flawed. When 'magic' turned out bad, even after I went to fix it, I chose to allow that to be what was supposed to be. I knew there was a reason, but a reason I just hadn't figured out yet. I now wear a precious ring on the finger that holds my 'magic', so yesterday I was asked if the flaws that my tattoo still holds continue to bother me. And they did a little. Until yesterday, they did. But today I fell in love. Today I got its meaning. I looked at my 'magic' and something in me said: "Even if it is not perfect, it still is magic." Magic is still magic, even if it's not what I expected it to be. A star is still a star, even if it is not what I expected it to be. And there it is: my whole life philosophy in one. There are no such things as flaws, simply altered reality. I choose to see life, its experiences, its challenges and its hurdels with joy. For what it is, what it wants, what it needs and is meant to be - is exactly what it will be. In all its perfect imperfections. But I have not always lived like this. And when I didn't, all I had was disappointments. All I felt was suffocation and stagnation, as my expectations were suffocating life, and therefore slowly suffocating me.

Now I am engaged - to this perfect man. ;) And what my promise to this man is and will be, is that I will allow life to be exactly what it wants, is meant, and needs to be. Always - and for both of us. I am therefore getting married without the promise of an earthly forever. For the only thing that can truly be forever is love. And love can be shown - love is shown - in so many different ways. Love can be the crisis that awoke you. Love can be the hurt that made you change your life. Love can be the stroke that soothes you, the kiss that awakens you. All of this is love. And in all of its perfection, it is the most imperfect thing.


So love. Always.


Love,

Carolina





1 comment:

  1. I hope you will still dedicate yourself to loving this perfect fiancé and keep creating magic with him. I hope you will vow to unconditionally love him and stay by his side no matter what happens. That is the greatest love, and we see this in God's example of self-sacrifice to each of us, if we choose to let Him in to our hearts.

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