April 16, 2016

Losing friends and growing pains.

Our lives are a direct reflection of what we believe about ourselves. Our worth, our value, our belief in our own potential.
Ask yourself: are you happy or are you bitter? Is your life standing still or are you moving forward? Who are you sharing your life with? Does this person or these people make you happy? What are you doing with your time? What are your trials, your challenges, your victories? And last but not least: how do you feel about other people's happiness and/or success? When it comes to showing happiness and/or success, are you on the giving or the receiving end of "Don't show too much", "Do not succeed too well", "Don't be too happy" or you will remind me of everything I lack in my life? The answer to this one will pretty much determine how you truly feel about your life. You can fool yourself in all of the other questions, but not when it comes to how you feel about other people. How you feel about others is how you feel about yourself. If you do not truly wish others well, you will not do well yourself.

So many of us fall into the first category, where instead of sucking it up and taking responsibility for our own happiness in life we try to keep those around us equally un- or moderately happy. Or at least keep them from showing their happiness too much. We don't want them to be too happy for their happiness or believe in their success too much. We may even look down at the happy ones for having the audacity to be flaunting their goods around and making us feel bad. And often remind them of how unfair it is that they simply are so lucky. That everything seems to be so, so easy for them.

We choose to do all of this because unhappiness - or moderate happiness - is safe. It's safe to always have something to complain about. Something that is always someone or something else's fault. Yes, the thought of life not being up to us is comforting, but it's not the truth. Life is up to each and every one of us. We are all dealt different hands, but it is up to us how we choose to use these hands. With what attitude we choose to see our chances. If the comfort of non-responsibility is what we will choose, then fine. But let's not be bitter at the ones who dare go outside of it. Or try to keep them down. Let's not expect of our close ones - or even of strangers - to stay where we choose to be in order to keep us feeling sort of safe. I believe true happiness and success come through discomfort. The discomfort of growing. But that's what growing is: uncomfortable and even painful. But always worth it. No one wants to stay a baby for the rest of their lives (I think). We are here to grow. And growing means reaching and therefore achieving more. We only have to dare to live in and with discomfort for an undetermined while. With the awkwardness that is change. To not hold on to what once was, but to allow the possibility and almost certainty of growing pains. We may lose some friends, family, partners or jobs, but for everything we lose there will be more to gain. "No pain, no gain." There's truth to every cliché out there.


Lots of xoxo,

Carolina





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