July 29, 2016

Welcome to la-la land.

I read today, that in pursuing one's dream, sometimes isolation will be inevitable, as not everyone will understand the lengths one needs to go through in order to achieve that dream. I found it very on point, as that is an issue that, since deciding to actually live my dream, has affected my life. I have lost quite many friends since choosing to walk my own path. A subject that I have been struggling with to admit out loud, as one is not supposed to move on from friends, as friends are forever. But I have. And I guess I have all my life; moved on. Because all through my life, I have made it my goal to evolve. To get to know myself, to become a better me. The real me. And when we change, most often as do our surroundings. So once again, I have changed. I had to change, in order to reach my dream. Amongst other, I had to fight against my own preconceptions of "truths". Of how things "are" and how things "go", what is "possible" and what is "not". I have had to completely brake out of my box. A box I hadn't even realised I had put myself in to. I've fought with this to the extent, that additionally fighting against others' preconceptions, others' boxes, simply felt like too much, and not like something I wanted to do, or even try to do. Not anymore. (One of the hardest parts has been to recognize and respect my own feelings of what I want to do. We do so much just to please others, or simply to keep things the way they've always been.)

So I go through my isolation. I surround myself with only angels and quotes about clishés on how beautiful life can be. I dream of harmonious days with husband, baby, pink paintings and love. I push the buttons of every "realist" out there - living in my la-la land. But I am a realist. My la-la attitude is what has gotten me here. I am proof that la-la exists. And only thanks to la-la is all that I have possible. So believe in la-la. See your la-la. And la-la is what will be yours.

Good luck!


La-la love,

Carolina


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