If you'd only change this one thing...

Are you in a relationship she says sucks because of you? Where everything that is wrong, is because of you. Where all would be different, where all would be good - if you'd only change this one thing...
Where instead of the love and support she says she's giving you, what you really feel is beaten down and just wrong. Like you never are good enough. And you question if you ever will be.

That's because (for her) you never will. She will never be completely content with who you are, with what you do, or what you don't do. As this is why she chose you. Because of how wrong you are. Because you can't get anything done. Because in you she'll always have someone to blame. And someone to save. She may fight and scream and talk and argue. Really seem like she's trying to find every solution for your relationship to work, possibilities for you to get better. But it won't. And you won't. Because that's the whole attraction. That's the whole point. That you are (and stay) worse off than her. That's what makes her feel safe - no matter how unsafe she might say you make her feel. Being with someone "worse off" than her, is what makes her fell good about herself. What distracts her from herself. It's what all of her life and all of her self worth revolves around: Being the stronger one. The better one. The one with her shit together. The one who is the considerate and reliable partner. The one doing it right. Your rock, your balance, your guide, your life line, your everything. All of her self worth comes from feeling she's better. How could she give that up?

So you can both continue to play this game. And maybe you, Mr can't-even-get-this-one-thing-right, actually will one day get it right and change this one little thing. But be sure, there will be more. Because at least one of you is an addict to the role she makes you give her. The role your flawed personality makes her take. The victim, the martyr, the one who loves you so much she'll suffer through it all. Because she knows unconditional love. Unconditional love for the one she spends all her time trying to change...



Love,

Carolina